Lets’ face it; we all need a little extra motivation once in awhile. In our busy lives full of commitments with family, work, friends, etc., there are times when we need a little extra push to get us through the day. Perhaps you stop to pick up that extra vanilla latte, a lucky lottery ticket, or buy that new pair of shoes you have been eyeing at your favorite store. Doesn’t that make those tough days just a little bit better?
Our children have their own lives that can be full of commitments too with school, sports teams, and play dates just to name a few. The job of being a responsible family member may not always be on the top of their list. Like so many of us, children may also need that extra motivation or additional “push” to help them to get them through their “jobs.” This is where a GOAL GETTER can be a very useful tool for you and your children.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends positive reinforcement for helping to solve behavior challenges. This concept applies to putting in place a GOAL GETTER as a positive strategy to help provide structure and avoid power struggles. The GOAL GETTER not only presents a visual opportunity for feedback, but is also a great reminder for busy parents to follow through. A GOAL GETTER can focus on any “job” that you want to be completed by your child, from making their bed or feeding the family pet to brushing their teeth or sleeping in their own bed. The key is to be sure the expectation or goal is developmentally appropriate by teaching the skill so that it can be completed independently with success before the GOAL GETTER begins.
You can access free printable behavior charts online or find them in your local bookstore. However, we recommend creating your own personalized GOAL GETTER with your child. Get out your craft box and pull out construction paper, old coloring books, and even family pictures to create a tool that highlights your child’s individuality. Work with your child to select the display location. Everyone is more invested and excited about what they are involved in creating. Working daily with your child to check their accomplishments will provide growth in the area of responsibility and develop their goal setting skills. In addition, this process sets up an opportunity for a very positive parent connection and avoids negative interaction.
Often times, we are tempted to take away stickers, checkmarks, or rewards for “bad” behavior that is completely unrelated to the GOAL GETTER. How would you like if someone took away your weekly paycheck because you forgot to put the garbage out on the curb? There is no correlation between these two events. The successful execution of the GOAL GETTER involves focusing only on the positives, without taking away anything that has been earned!
Some parents will ask, why should I reward them for what they should be doing? Research shows that people are classified as being motivated by seeking success or avoiding failure. The GOAL GETTER targets both areas. When learning new skills, greater amounts of positive reinforcement help to shape the desired behavior. The GOAL GETTER can be implemented as a tool to “jump start” your child by getting them invested and teaching them successful job completion.
Once the initial GOAL GETTER is completed, you can begin to fade out the tool by reducing the amount of times your child is reinforced. For example, initially your son was reinforced with a sticker every day he made his bed until he reached his personal goal. When fading, your son will receive a sticker every three days for completing the same “job” until he reaches his personal goal. Continue this process until the GOAL GETTER has completely faded out. We call this the SHAPE IT TECHNIQUE.
This SHAPE IT TECHNIQUE provides the external motivators that help children develop self motivation personality traits. Our ultimate goal will be for the expectation to remain, and the reward to be their own personal accomplishment. At this point, we recommend utilizing positive praise and attention for completion of “jobs,” as well natural consequences for lack of follow through. The key is to remain consistent with all of your GOALS and expectations! The GOAL GETTER will leave your ghosts and goblins feeling spooktacular!